Three Generations, Two Languages: Connecting Bilingual Kids With Abuelos

One of the quiet heartbreaks of second-generation Latino families is the gap that can open between Spanish-only grandparents and English-dominant grandchildren. Abuela flies up from Mexico City or Puerto Rico to see the new baby, holds him in her arms, whispers in Spanish — and in her mind, sees the whole future of conversation stretching ahead.

Fast-forward six years. That same grandchild answers her in a single English word when she asks a question in Spanish. He loves her, but he can’t really talk to her. She laughs and hugs him, but something in her mourns.

This gap is common. It’s also fixable. Here’s how families bridge it.

The core problem

Spanish usage in the US drops sharply between generations. The Pew Research Center has consistently found that by the third US-born generation, a majority of Latino kids primarily speak English — even in families where both parents speak Spanish at home.

The reason isn’t that kids can’t learn Spanish. It’s that English is everywhere and Spanish is nowhere except at home. Kids follow the path of least resistance.

The result: Abuela talks to her grandkids, but the conversation has a ceiling. The deep relationship — the one built on jokes, stories, questions, arguments — requires a shared language. Without it, love has to express itself in shorter sentences and longer hugs.

What actually helps

Several things do. None of them are silver bullets. All of them compound over time.

1. Video calls, not just visits

Most bilingual kids talk to grandparents in the flesh a few times a year and over the phone a few times a month. If you shift that to weekly video calls — even 10 minutes — Spanish exposure increases dramatically.

Video is better than phone because kids can see faces. They can respond to expressions when they don’t understand the words. The conversation has a real emotional anchor.

2. Give grandparents a “job”

Spanish conversations with grandparents can feel aimless to kids — just “how are you, tell me about school” on repeat. Give them structure.

Ask grandma to read your child a bedtime story over Zoom. Every Sunday night. She reads a Spanish picture book. The kid holds the same book on their end and follows along. Now Abuela has a role, your child has context, and the Spanish has purpose.

3. Send grandparents the same book your child is reading

One of the most underused tactics. If your kid is reading a bilingual book at home, send a copy to grandma. Now she reads it in Spanish. Your kid reads it in English. When they talk, they both know the story.

This works extraordinarily well with personalized books where your child is the hero. Grandma gets to read a book starring her own grandchild. Even from 2,000 miles away, she’s part of the story.

Create a personalized bilingual book that Abuela will love →

4. Record grandparents

Have grandma record herself reading a Spanish story on her phone. Put the recording on a smart speaker in your child’s room. Now your kid’s bedtime routine includes Abuela’s voice, in Spanish, every night.

This is particularly powerful for grandparents who may not always be around. The recording becomes an heirloom as much as a teaching tool.

5. WhatsApp voice messages

Text messages are a poor medium for bilingual family communication — kids write in English, grandparents respond in Spanish, neither fully understands the other. Voice messages are different. Kids can listen at their own pace, replay when they miss something, and respond orally when writing would be a barrier.

Many Latino families we know have a family WhatsApp group where voice messages in Spanish are the default. Kids grow up hearing their aunts, uncles, and grandparents in Spanish every day.

6. Visit, and stay longer

When you do visit grandparents, stay for a week, not a weekend. The difference in Spanish absorption between three days and seven days is enormous. Kids need immersion long enough to stop fighting it.

The personalized book layer

One of the most common gifts Latino families give to grandparents is a personalized book starring the grandchild. Grandma opens it, sees her grandchild’s face on the cover, sees the story in Spanish on every page, and reads it aloud. Your kid, on video call, follows along.

The conversation shifts. Suddenly Abuela isn’t asking generic questions — she’s telling her grandchild a story starring them. Spanish becomes the language of adventure, of pride, of being the hero of the book grandma is reading.

At Akoni Books, our bilingual editions are designed for exactly this use case. The full story in both English and Spanish, with your child as the hero, rendered in any of nine art styles. Popular themes for grandparent gifts include “Mi Familia, Mi Mundo” (a multigenerational family adventure featuring Abuela or Abuelo) and the straight-up personalized book built around whatever theme your kid loves most.

Create a bilingual book starring your child (Abuela will love it) →

The long game

Building a bilingual relationship between grandparents and grandchildren is a years-long project. It has setbacks. Your kid will resist Spanish phases. Grandma will get frustrated. You’ll question whether it’s worth it.

It is.

Your child at 25 — talking to their grandmother about her life, hearing her stories in the language she thinks in, passing on what she tells them to their own children — will remember every Sunday night video call, every bedtime story over Zoom, every WhatsApp voice message, every bilingual book.

None of it is guaranteed. All of it compounds. Start this week with one small thing. A weekly video call. A new bilingual book. A voice message to grandma telling her to record a bedtime story.

Your kid’s relationship with their grandparents — and with Spanish — will be shaped by small decisions you make now.